When I was a little girl, my Dad would tell me he’s going to the store and that he would be back in 10 minutes. I recall looking at the clock to see what time it was. “10:05am… ok so he should be back home by 10:20am” immediately doing a mental calculation on what time he would return is what I would do.
If it turned 10:21 and my Dad wasn’t home, I would run to the bathroom, lock myself in, turn on the sink faucet and bawl my eyes out like something tragic just happened. I would instantly think something terrible happened to my Dad. 5 minutes later, the door would open and my Dad would be at home. At this point, I would wipe my tears away and walk out like nothing happened. My family was not aware that I was like this and in all fairness, I only knew how to hide my feelings and had a pretty badass poker face (to go with it).
Fast forward, 20 something years later.. I’m sitting in a chair across my Psychologist and she shares with me that I am a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’. I didn’t know what it meant at first- but believe me I did A LOT of research after. Turns out, she was HELLA right.. I am SUCH a Highly Sensitive Person. Now, all those anxiety prone tendencies and traits that followed me as a child had started to make a lot of sense.
A Highly Sensitive Personality is a trait that is found in 15-20% of people. It is a trait that you are born with and not one that you develop. HSPs naturally have high levels of stress and cortisol because of their sponge-like nervous systems. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of HSP’s actually work a little differently than others.
What It Feels Like To Be A Highly Sensitive Person
I am much more in tune with the energy around me than your average bear. I process information differently and reflect on the smallest things a lot more than the typical person. I can walk into a room and gauge the ‘energy’ of people in the room. I can feel if others are mad or upset even if they’re smiling and get a good feel on what is really happening under their exterior. It’s something I can’t help but feel. Think about it like a spidey sense. It can definitely get overwhelming but it has been such a blessing in more than one way.
HSP’s are also very sensitive to sound. Ever since I was a kid, I always felt like I had super sensitive ears, it truly was a gift and a curse. I could hear sounds miles away and would easily get irritated by them. I jokingly compare my hearing to that of a dog- because I really can hear sounds 7x louder. Often, I get uncomfortable at parties or places where there are a lot of people talking at once, this is why I enjoy intimate gatherings. I am known to take ear plugs to concerts and to restaurants too!
Certain scents, fabrics, pain, sounds, caffeine and lack of sleep can really throw an HSP for a loop. When I experience any of the above, it makes it nearly impossible for me to concentrate or feel comfortable in my surroundings. For example, I cannot wear knit or wool sweaters without a barrier in between, the fabric would itch my skin, leaving it red and bruised. Being Indian- sometimes, I have to wear Indian suits, which are usually made of non-HSP friendly materials and are bejeweled with prickly decorative pieces. For that reason-, I hate wearing Indian suits and I dread going to weddings or parties because I know I will be uncomfortable the entire damn time (yes, probably why I left your party early too).
I completely embrace being an HSP and I am very proud of it! Being an HSP does not mean that there is anything wrong with me, it just means that I process sensory data more deeply than others do. While it does have some drawbacks, it has also has incredible advantages. Once I found out I was an HSP, I did a lot of research on how to better care for myself. I cannot thank my psychologist enough for telling me those three little letters, which helped me, understand why I was the way that I was. Thank you Kim!
Finding out that I was a HSP, after talking to a psychologist (which is often a taboo thing to do) was the greatest thing that ever happened to me because it has helped significantly improve my life for the better.
I would strongly encourage everybody to feel confident and comfortable speaking with mental health professionals because they provide a safe place to speak freely.
If you want to find out if you are HSP or have some similar traits, take the quiz below!
