Playing Darts In The Dark: Fertility Struggles

So often we see pregnancy and baby announcements but rarely do we see the struggle & mental grind behind the scenes of what the true journey looks like. Ladies, lets keep it real, getting pregnant is no easy task. Even the healthiest person, who is regularly ovulating has a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant in that month. Although there exists a probability of success, the odds are stacked heavily against us. I often hear that getting pregnant is like winning the lottery- it really is, and this Grand Prize is worth something that no amount of money can buy. I feel that theres a larger discussion here, and I feel a positive way to look at this is to consider new perspectives what can I do to help increase my chances at hitting the big target.

Before we start travelling down these tunnels, I just want to outline that getting pregnant was not a walk in the park for us either. Me and my husband tried for just over a year without any luck. Every month, the two week wait and beyond was just torture. Seeing other women get pregnant did sting a little- I was so happy for them but I wondered if I would ever be in their shoes and if would ever be my turn. When you’re trying to conceive but are having a hard time it starts becoming more and more difficult to imagine yourself with a baby, it starts to feel impossible. I can totally relate and speak from a place of experience here.

I always had irregular periods (every 2-3 months, sometimes only 4-5 times a year!) So naturally I knew that it wouldn’t be easy for me to conceive. When we started to try- we didn’t think much about it, but we weren’t careful either. That did not get us anywhere.. months and months and months passed with negative pregnancy tests piling up, and ovulation tests that continued to confuse the absolute F out of me. I started to think of myself as less of a woman- I couldn’t menstruate properly- and now I couldn’t even conceive. It didn’t help that people were always asking us when we would be having a baby.. (which btw- is never ok to ask another woman). On top of my own struggles with infertility, I started to feel bad for my husband- thinking I may not ever be able to make him a Father. I felt helpless. The guilt ate away at me from the inside. We were trying so hard to hit bullseye, but we were playing darts in the dark.

After a few more months of trying, we decided to see a doctor to seek some guidance from a Medical perspective. As I had suspected- I was missing my ovulation. I didn’t have regular periods, so I never knew when I was ovulating- and more than half the time- I wasn’t ovulating at all. All those period apps and ovulation sticks didn’t work their charm on me. I started to go to the doctor routinely for cycle monitoring. The technician would perform ultrasounds to confirm maturation of my follicles and with a near perfect accuracy would be able to predict a small window of when I would be ovulating. She turned on the lights and pointed me towards the Dart board so that we could start taking better shots towards the target! Knowledge is power. 

It didn’t work. Cycles later I still wasn’t pregnant. I was then prescribed medication to help my period to come the following month. While I was waiting for my period to come, I also decided to go on to Keto Diet. My husband was already doing it with success so I started to pay closer attention and I came across inspiring stories online from other women about how the Keto Diet helped them get pregnant. I was three weeks into the Keto Diet when I got my period. I went back for cycle monitoring and was told I was ovulating once again.

This was finally the cycle that we hit bullseye, this was the cycle that we got pregnant!

Now I cant say for sure that Keto got me pregnant, but I do know it was related to being open minded to try new things that I would normally be uncomfortable with. I can confidently share that my body reacted to the change in my Diet which was directly related to Keto. That adjustment with putting a hard stop on sugar and limiting carbs really helped me feel much healthier & much happier! In three short weeks I had quickly gotten into the best shape I had ever been in! I had way more energy than I ever had before. I started my morning with bullet proof coffee (recipe on my blog) and ate vegetables with protein and lots & lots & lots & lots of good fats!

All things considered, I am beyond thankful that the stars aligned and we were finally pregnant and ready to start our journey into Parenthood. During the process of Trying to Conceive (TTC), I carried with me a Moonstone Gem everywhere I went. I also believe this Moonstone helped me- it gave me lots of faith and courage. I carried it with me to every appointment, before, during and even after pregnancy to this day. I was holding it when I had my first ultrasound to confirm pregnancy, I had it with me when we found out the gender, when we rushed to the hospital with multiple labor false alarms, and when we finally gave birth to Aura. I will pass this moonstone on to my daughter as it represents faith, love and patience to me.

This is just my story and what worked for me. Of course, everyone is different and everyone’s bodies react differently to certain medications, diets and lifestyles. I am in no way encouraging others to try what worked for me, just simply sharing some of the things that helped me stay positive and moving forward. I encourage you to do your own research and speak with your doctor/naturopath and other women around you. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I pray that anyone who is waiting for their positive test- gets it soon. Be patient, have faith and be willing to explore other perspectives and try new things- and most importantly don’t give up. Good things take time. And God willing, it WILL happen for you.

Please share any other perspectives and ideas about what you think can help increase your chances in the comments below! I would love to share some of your answers 🙂