Like most women do, I prepared the nursery, the house and the big sister-to-be for the arrival of her sister. However, I forgot to prepare myself on how my relationship would change with my Toddler. I spent good quality time with her leading up to the big day, basking in our incredible bond and never thought in my wildest dreams that all that would be undone.
In the first few weeks of Ella being at home, Aura was smitten by Ella but distant with me. She was always a daddy’s girl, but she really cranked
it up in those first two weeks. Aura wanted nothing to do with me- and didn’t even ask for the lullabies I sang to her at bedtime😞 as if that wasn’t enough- she would refuse to give me hugs and kisses. That hurttttt 😔
At night, while Aura was asleep and I was awake with Ella- I would look at pictures of Aura and cry my eyes out. I so badly missed her and our relationship that now felt like it was slipping away. I always felt like I was ‘cheating’ on Aura when I was alone with Ella. It’s a real mind f***. I can’t explain it. I wasn’t prepared for all this guilt that came with loving another baby.
Luckily, things had turned around when I started making designated time for just Aura and I. We would go for ice cream and play together (uninterrupted, just us two). I also started to get her involved in diaper changes and feeds. I would also pump into a bottle so that Aura could feed her sister. These are now things that Aura looks forward to doing.
I’m so happy to say that now at week 4, my relationship with Aura is back to how it was pre-baby. She’s still a full fledged Daddy’s girl, but wants her mama too 🥰
If you’re expecting a second baby- expect your relationship to change slightly but know that it is completely reversible. Also, if you cry yourself to sleep thinking of baby #1– know that you’re not alone 😜🥲 #beentheredonethat
Did your relationship change with your first born after baby #2?
