My breastfeeding journey with Ella was incredible. She latched on minutes after birth and was so good! This was great because it meant that she was going to help me create a good solid milk supply. Which she did. I had an incredible milk supply, one that I was very thankful and grateful to have. I know this is not the case for many, and so I would’ve been happy with any amount.
Soon after- my allergies started. I dealt with it without any medication. This made me very grumpy, itchy, miserable and self conscious.
At 3 months, the allergies got intense. I had to start medication regularly or my entire body would break out. It was so painful and uncomfortable. This medicine is safe and only marginally passed through to breastmilk BUT could dry up my supply. I took the risk anyway.
I continued breastfeeding and honestly I didn’t see a change in my supply. I was happy. I wasn’t itchy and I could be a happy mother to my babies. I did however notice that Ella started refusing the breast. I’m not sure if it was the medication, eczema or her just signalling me to stop (I made this up to feel better about myself)
but she didn’t want it. So, I started pumping and feeding her. I did this for about 2 weeks before I noticed.. my supply was decreasing.
Eventually it completely dried out and I stopped producing. I’m certain it’s because of the allergy medication + no longer feeding from my breast.
We made it through 4 months of exclusively breastfeeding with the occasional formula bottle here & there. And honestly… I’m very proud of myself and Ella. I know how difficult it was and we still managed to push through. So we will be formula feeding with the occasional breastmilk that we have in the freezer. I will be holding on to that last bag for a very long time. I still have Aura’s breastmilk in the freezer. I can’t let go of it. Will probably make it into jewelry one day.
I’m sharing my experience in efforts to normalize this. No one should feel ashamed of how they feed their child. Ever. There’s so much shame about bottle feeding, formula feeding and not breastfeeding ‘long enough’. It needs to stop. Fed is best!
