The Most Important Relationship: You

February 13th, the day before good ol St. Valentines Day. I could have used this opportunity to blog about my husband (who is incredible in every sense of the word) and talk about all of the things that I love about him BUT the truth is…..I’m in another relationship that is far more important to me.

And I get it…. I empathize with all of you single folks – I too am sick of reading about other relationships on Valentines Day (which to me is another Hallmark Holiday) so I felt inclined to share my truth.

The “other” relationship is with myself 🙂

This post is about self love – putting yourself first and loving yourself unconditionally.

Loving yourself first is the most important thing you could do, not only for you, but loving yourself translates into all of your other relationships – your partner, your family, your friends, your coworkers, your neighbours, your everything!!!! And trust me – it shows whether you love yourself or not.

I bet when your best friend is going through some shit- you’re right there giving them your full attention, confidence and support that they need when they don’t feel like they can stand alone. Sounds like you Right? And you’re probably still cheering for them when they fail – for them to get up and try again, maybe even louder at this point, Right? How about encouraging them to take leaps and new challenges- Yep, I bet you do that too. You can so easily find your inner Tony Robbins for your friends, but do you ever do that for yourself?

Why is it so hard to do this for ourselves? We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve- and this HAS TO CHANGE!!!!

Research states that negative people, those with low self esteem are often drawn to others with the same low self esteem. Ever heard the saying, you are a direct reflection of the company you keep – 100% true! Having low self-esteem is directly linked with feeling less deserving of happiness. What does that mean? You settle for shitty people who do shitty things – they are not dependable, they hurt your feelings and they take advantage of you. Yet, you keep them around because you think that is what you deserve. Take that in for a second… You feel that is what you deserve? Wild.

Isn’t it time you changed your mindset – isn’t it time that you started to love yourself?

Does this mean that having high self-esteem is better for your relationships? No – not necessarily. An extremely high self-esteem can be borderline narcisstic, which involves self-centered and inflated self-views. Its all about finding and maintaining balance.

I hope I didn’t confuse you there. Forget self-love for a second, lets shift our focus to self-acceptance. See yourself as a great person who is WORTHY of love without having to prove yourself to or outshine others. When you accept and love yourself, you’re far less likely to burden your partner with the need for constant reassurance and you won’t let your insecurities damage your relationship.

‘You Can Only Love Someone Once You Love Yourself. Yes, it’s a cliché, but there is so much truth to it. If you can’t embrace what you don’t like about yourself, how will you do the same for others? How can you possibly be forgiving if you can’t even forgive your own mistakes? It all starts with you, you learn from loving yourself first!

Embrace the relationship you have with yourself, you have been with that person since the day you were born, and you will be with that person until the day you stop breathing. That person in the mirror knows all of your secrets, your experiences, your thoughts & your deepest fears. Treat yourself like you would treat others that you love. This might sound silly, but take a good look in the mirror to appreciate that person standing there looking back at you- look them in the eye, talk to them, smile at them. I do this, I do this daily! Sometimes, If I make a funny joke to myself- I will look in the mirror and say ‘You’re so funny, I love you’ – sounds cray cray but thats me, unapologetically! I may not be perfect but I love myself the way I am, and I truly appreciate the relationship I have with myself. Happy Valentines Day to all those beautiful reflections in the mirror 🙂 xo

Below are some self-loving affirmations by author Louise Hay, repeat them as much as you can on a daily basis. Im talking 300-400 times a day!

Loving others is easy when I love and accept myself.
I am grateful for my healthy body. I love life.
Love flows through my body, healing all dis-ease.
My life gets better all the time.
I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.
I trust my intuition. I am willing to listen to that still, small voice within.
I am very thankful for all the love in my life. I find it everywhere.
I am healthy, whole, and complete.
Only good can come to me.
I prosper wherever I turn.
I am deeply fulfilled by all that I do.
I forgive myself and set myself free.
I trust the process of life.